But Dad, if we're never going to use the nukes again, then why don't we take them all apart, or lock them up, or something like that?

Because they are irrelevant.

'Scuse me? Irrelevant?

Correct. The Bomb is an overheated medium.

I'll say. Don't those things, like, melt metal and burn up cities and turn people into charcoal, and shit?

You've been running your Uncle Buddy's videos again.